And What About Me?

A Sister’s Perspective… And What about Me?

Thank you, my brother for telling me what you want. It made me realize that I really do have a lot to offer… and a lot to learn.
But what about my needs? There are many books on “How to find…, How to love.., How to please…, or How to keep, etc., a Good Man.” Has anyone told you how to find, love, please, and keep me? Well, may I?

I want a GMC, a Good Man who is…
Christian… Someone who knows WHOSE he is and WHO he is in Christ. Somebody who doesn’t mind saying grace aloud (for BOTH of us) and ain’t afraid to say it in public. Someone who can pray with me, and when I ain’t acting right, pray FOR me, and when I’m going through, pray OVER me. I want a man that knows that Ephesians 5:22 (“Wives submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”) is followed by verse 25 (“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her”). I need a warrior for the Lord, someone who will lead our battles against Satan, someone who is capable of being the spiritual head of our family.

Conscious… Someone who is conscious of his feelings and fears. Can you forget that while growing up, you were taught to hide your emotions? Why? Because our little boy will mimic and eventually become what you are. I want him to become a man who knows it’s okay to hug other men in fellowship and with agape love, and that it is okay to cry when you are hurt and/ or happy. I need a man who will love our little girl in such a way that she will grow up with serious expectations of a man and eventually, a husband. I love being with a man who is strong, but it’s okay to confide in me that you don’t have the answer… Best friends do that sometimes, ya know.

Consistent… I like a man who is a DOer not a TALKer. You don’t have to tell me what you are going to do. JUST DO IT!! I need a man who will be the man ALL THE TIME…even when it is not convenient or comfortable, and is sometimes confrontational.

Chivalrous…Yeah, it is nice to have doors opened (and closed), but it goes deeper than that. You know how you love those massages? Would you be willing to show me how good they feel to you? I know what your favorite meal is. When will you surprise me with mine? I like a man who becomes intimate with my likes and dislikes, preferences and whims.

Creative… Did you see “Soul Food”? I’d be interested in someone who could put that bathroom scene to shame. I want somebody who knows when to take his time… and when we don’t have a lot of time, someone who knows that the things he does for me ALL DAY (not a little bump ‘n’ grind, honey), can be considered as foreplay. Somebody who can pace himself and wait on me… Girl, can I get a witness? And can I please speak to the brother who doesn’t care about the WHEN or the WHERE as long as it is with me? You already know what kissing my ear will do, but them ears gets tired sometimes…what about that spot on the small of my back… naw, not there… over a little more. Ya’ll don’t hear me!!!

Chocolate... I don’t care if he is German chocolate, cappuccino chocolate, mocha, Swiss, white, single or double dipped in chocolate, jute gimme chocolate ‘cause that’s my favorite flavor.

And you may ask, my brother, what is in this for you?

Hmmmm… an ear and a shoulder instead of a mouth and a bad attitude, a good friend and confidant, maybe even your own customized half-time show during the football game, a nice bath when you get home from work… get the picture?

--Doriannicole Haynes




‘Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man’s rib. Not from his feet, to be walked on. Not from his head, to be superior. But from the side, to be equal. Under the arm, to be protected, and next to the heart, to be loved.”
--- Hebrew Talmud