Sunday, December 25, 2005

Do you believe in Christmas?

For the past two to three weeks, I have done everything humanly possible to evade any and every store imaginable. I have listened to people panic over the possibility that their loved ones won't recieve their gifts on time. I have encountered numerous "Christmas grumps" who scream and yell and start fights over the stupidest stuff or just for the fun of it. The number of people having heart attacks and strokes HAS to go up during the holiday season. And, I can't understand why.
This is Christmas...notice the first part of the word CHRISTmas. (I had to bold the letters because otherwise it may go unnoticed...like it seems to have everywhere else.) That is what is so funny to me. We cannot wish our students, our coworkers, or anyone we don't know a MERRY CHRISTMAS because it is a "religious holiday." Yet, finding religion on such a day has never proven to be more difficult.
Apparently, Christmas is supposed to be the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. However, on this very day, because they feared low attendance, many churches were closed. Santa Claus, however, was able to make his presence (presents, whichever spelling applies) known. More stories were told of a make believe old man and his nine reindeer who travel the globe bringing joy to all of the children...but, how many were told of He who brings joy EVERYDAY to the whole world? Not nearly as many.
For those who did find an open church or went to the Saturday service, or midnight mass, how can you combine the belief of two entities whom you have never seen? Santa gets credit for bringing joy through toys, Jesus gives you life and love. For some, it doesn't work at all. Jesus provided made it possible for some to be able to buy the toys AND still have electricity and a place to live. Some will be relying on battery operated toys for their diversions. But for most, Jesus and Santa aren't in competition...on this day Santa wins. In fact, many don't think about Jesus and his 12 disciples, but Santa and his 9 reindeer.
I must say that the Bible clearly says "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life." (John 3:16) And that gift, the gift of life and salvation, is much more valuable than anything an old fat man and his reindeer could bring, hands down. To get God's gift, there is no need for lines, no cause for stress, and plenty enough for everyone who wants in. There is never a need for a receipt or a credit card. You can enjoy this gift well after December 25, with no warranty papers to fill out... Guaranteed.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Can't Give Up Now

The pain of an eternal loneliness casts a dark shadow over my life. The scars left from this journey’s previous thorns are darkened and made deeper. At some moments, it is as if God himself has abandoned me. He promised never to leave or forsake me. He promised to bring comfort in times of need. He promised never to put more on me than I could bear. In the deepest core of my heart, I know this to be the truth. But now, I can’t reach that deep. Now my heart has stopped beating. My lungs have stopped breathing. I am dead.
The tears of suffering and frustration rush to my eyes creating a sudden and unstoppable waterfall. As the water cascades down my face, images of dreams play behind images of reality. I can’t make it stop. My body has been destroyed but not as severely as my heart and soul. The depth of suffering and pain on the inside far outweighs the same on the surface. I live now just to die later. While death is being postponed, life is through. What purpose could I have now?
My father turns in his eternal slumber at the idea that his name dies with me. The genetic traits passed on from his lineage end now. And why? Because I was chosen to be punished. I fear the worst is yet to come. Like a child with an abusive father, I try to decide what I have done to deserve this. I have to believe that this is what He wanted. That because of this happening now, something will blossom later. I have to believe that.
Just when I am getting ready to lose all hope and faith, there is a shift change at the hospital. My Doctor enters and with a single look, assures me. With a single word, He revives me. With a single touch, He begins to heal me. He gives me just enough to confirm my beliefs. Because I couldn’t reach any deeper, He extends His hand for me.
As I walk the journey of recovery, I fear nothing for I know I am not alone. I fear neither death nor life. I see that my life is but a small pixel in His plan; without me and my trials and tribulations, the picture cannot be completed. Every day, I now give thanks for the hurdles of my life because every time I have to jump over them, I am lifted closer to Him.

Written to and for...well, you know who you are.

Mr. T.

Living in a world all of my own,
Dancing and smiling all the day long,
Then who should come to help with my phone,
A man who went to school with Raheim Devaughn.

We talked for quite some time in the store,
I sent him an email plea for some more,
From the very moment that we met,
I knew it was he I wanted to get.

He surprised me and responded to my plea,
Saying that unfortunately he was married.
I tried to unselfishly reconcile my feelings
And told myself I had to limit our dealings.

But, I just couldn’t stay away,
My emotions were out of control;
My feelings every whicha way.
Sexual tranquility was my new goal.

Now, today, as I watched him lick his lips
I imagined his hands holding my hips.
I dreamt of his body pressed against mine
Moaning and groaning and forgetting about time

Just that fast, I forgot about his wife
I forgot he had kids and a whole separate life.
I just thought of the passion he held in his eyes
I felt the warm sensations percolating between my thighs.

Selfishly, I remained in a trance,
Thinking, wondering what to do next.
I craved him so badly I didn’t want to breathe,
Unless I could inhale and exhale with him inside me.

I need to feel his lips as they touch mine,
I crave his tongue sliding really deep inside,
Tasting me softly and holding me tightly,
Caressing my softness in the firm of his hands.

And then, just at the moment when my desire is burning,
He penetrates my soul to extinguish my yearning.
Slow dancing with my heart and soul,
Heating the room like old fashioned coals.


On his back I ask him to lie,
I need to taste him so badly, I could cry.
Kissing him from his head on down
I listen as he fights to control the sounds.

Oh but I can’t; he tastes so good.
I am so ready, so in the mood.
I take him in slowly and savor his flavor
I dream about when he returns the favor.

My tongue dances with his manhood
Oh how his life feels and tastes so good!
God please, please wake me from this dream
Oh tell me this isn’t as good as it seems.

As I lay now awake, the dream now over
Feelings of guilt began to hover
How can I feel this way about a married man?
As if my values were being lost in quicksand.

I recognize that there are some mistakes
That can’t be made for his children’s sakes
That his marriage means that there’s love at home
Leaving absolutely no room for his heart to roam.

So ends the story of a intellectual affair
One that no one ever suspected was there.
A story of a physiological attraction so strong,
That felt so good, but was clearly so wrong.

I pray for his happiness in life,
May he and his family evade all strife,
For me, I pray for forgiveness
For playing the role of the evil temptress.

And so our paths have to part,
As they should have from the start.
To our own lives we return,
This meeting of the minds is now adjourned.


By: Doriannicole Haynes
August 2005

Can you Handle Me? (10 min Poetry)

Can You Handle Me?

I’m the darkest brown coffee bean;
And added to it, a little sugar and cream.

I’m the best vanilla ice cream in the world;
And add praline pecans and a thick caramel swirl.

I’m a hot cup of cinnamon apple tea;
Delicately sweetened with just enough honey.

I’m a warm soft peanut butter cookie;
With a Hershey’s kiss melting in its nookie.

I’m a chewy double fudge brownie square;
Invaded by white chocolate bits everywhere.

I’m a strip of caramel in a chocolate candy bar;
A Payday that makes em’ want to go to war.

I’m a “Hot Right Now” Krispy Kreme delight;
Can't resist the urge once I'm in your sight.

I’m a taste of the best Puerto Rican Rum;
With a splash of Coke, (don’t you want some?)

I’m a maximum strength Long Island Iced Tea;
A lot of strong flavors combined to make me.

Are you ready for the strength of my coffee;
The thickness of my swirl, the sweetness of my honey?

Can you handle the chocolate as it melts in your mouth?
Do you prefer the Delirium of the north or the Tropical Storm of the south?


Doriannicole Haynes
09 December 2005

Love Letter (Part I)

Make love to me, holding me so closely that our breaths synchronize. Poison me with your charm, your charisma, and your caring. Make love to my mind, pushing my imagination to seek new depths of passion. Make love to my soul, dancing with my spirit with each kiss. Dream with me. Take me deep into your most intimate fantasies. Pioneer new horizons, experiment with the unknown. Catch me, I am falling.

Watch as I slowly remove our barriers, exposing my hidden features to your eyes. Come close as I allay you of your obstacles. Gently gliding my hands and my body all over your dark chocolate skin, smooth like silk. My desire for you is growing every second. I am preparing to give your soul a home. Catch me, I am falling.

Delve deeply into my heart of desire. Let your sword be my weapon and I will take down your shield. Escape with me to places unknown, places lost to reality. Feel the heat of the summer. Caress my body like leaves on a breezy autumn day. Cradle me closely, as if it were winter. Let me emerge from within like the first day of spring. Catch me, I am falling.

Take my body, as I take yours, letting your sweet hardness melt in my mouth like cotton candy. I will discover your hidden pleasures. Come closer, deeper as if you were burying a treasure. Penetrate my soul. Oh, please… Oh, pleeease…Help me to lose control. Catch me….Yesss!! Hold me….I am falling…



Together, we can make Part II.


With love and great anticipation,

Doriannicole

And What About Me?

A Sister’s Perspective… And What about Me?

Thank you, my brother for telling me what you want. It made me realize that I really do have a lot to offer… and a lot to learn.
But what about my needs? There are many books on “How to find…, How to love.., How to please…, or How to keep, etc., a Good Man.” Has anyone told you how to find, love, please, and keep me? Well, may I?

I want a GMC, a Good Man who is…
Christian… Someone who knows WHOSE he is and WHO he is in Christ. Somebody who doesn’t mind saying grace aloud (for BOTH of us) and ain’t afraid to say it in public. Someone who can pray with me, and when I ain’t acting right, pray FOR me, and when I’m going through, pray OVER me. I want a man that knows that Ephesians 5:22 (“Wives submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”) is followed by verse 25 (“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her”). I need a warrior for the Lord, someone who will lead our battles against Satan, someone who is capable of being the spiritual head of our family.

Conscious… Someone who is conscious of his feelings and fears. Can you forget that while growing up, you were taught to hide your emotions? Why? Because our little boy will mimic and eventually become what you are. I want him to become a man who knows it’s okay to hug other men in fellowship and with agape love, and that it is okay to cry when you are hurt and/ or happy. I need a man who will love our little girl in such a way that she will grow up with serious expectations of a man and eventually, a husband. I love being with a man who is strong, but it’s okay to confide in me that you don’t have the answer… Best friends do that sometimes, ya know.

Consistent… I like a man who is a DOer not a TALKer. You don’t have to tell me what you are going to do. JUST DO IT!! I need a man who will be the man ALL THE TIME…even when it is not convenient or comfortable, and is sometimes confrontational.

Chivalrous…Yeah, it is nice to have doors opened (and closed), but it goes deeper than that. You know how you love those massages? Would you be willing to show me how good they feel to you? I know what your favorite meal is. When will you surprise me with mine? I like a man who becomes intimate with my likes and dislikes, preferences and whims.

Creative… Did you see “Soul Food”? I’d be interested in someone who could put that bathroom scene to shame. I want somebody who knows when to take his time… and when we don’t have a lot of time, someone who knows that the things he does for me ALL DAY (not a little bump ‘n’ grind, honey), can be considered as foreplay. Somebody who can pace himself and wait on me… Girl, can I get a witness? And can I please speak to the brother who doesn’t care about the WHEN or the WHERE as long as it is with me? You already know what kissing my ear will do, but them ears gets tired sometimes…what about that spot on the small of my back… naw, not there… over a little more. Ya’ll don’t hear me!!!

Chocolate... I don’t care if he is German chocolate, cappuccino chocolate, mocha, Swiss, white, single or double dipped in chocolate, jute gimme chocolate ‘cause that’s my favorite flavor.

And you may ask, my brother, what is in this for you?

Hmmmm… an ear and a shoulder instead of a mouth and a bad attitude, a good friend and confidant, maybe even your own customized half-time show during the football game, a nice bath when you get home from work… get the picture?

--Doriannicole Haynes




‘Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man’s rib. Not from his feet, to be walked on. Not from his head, to be superior. But from the side, to be equal. Under the arm, to be protected, and next to the heart, to be loved.”
--- Hebrew Talmud