Seasons Greetings!!

The fire of summer’s sun permeates the leaves and creates fall. As the heat passes from one element to another, the weather we experience vacillates between cool and warm, hot and cold, sunny and wet. The brilliance of the sun is reflected in each leaf, as it turns to a beautiful jewel sharing its colors with gold, rubies, and amethysts.

And then, once the leaves can take no more of the summer’s warmth, they fall wearily to the ground, leaving the trees barren, colorless, and emaciated. Because the limbs won’t intercept the flakes, the snow drifts merrily and gracefully to the ground, covering all it encounters. The trees, barren and dull, permit the white splendor of winter to assume the spotlight. The beauty of winter is accessorized harmoniously with the bold and brilliant colors of the sky, the deep blues, the many hues of pink, orange, yellow that accompany the extraordinary sunrises and sunsets that only winter offers.

And then, when the white grows tired and restless, and the sky tired of carrying the burden of being bright and perfect, the greens and colorful flowers of spring return and carry the torch. The rain cleans the world of the impurities that may keep the green from returning. And the flowers, in every color imaginable, suddenly appear, peeking between the leaves, blooming, blossoming, and coming into their own.

As the season continues, the flowers of spring are replaced with those of the summer; even bolder, more courageous, and outspoken.

And when, they are too loud, the sun quiets them, calms them, and passes their energy to the leaves…and the cycle begins again.

In House Renovations

Amazing. That's how I would describe the way I feel right now. It has been a long long time since I have been so at peace with my life. In fact, let me amend that statement: I have never been so at peace with my life. I have realized that peace exists on so many different levels, but to achieve real peace, you HAVE to start on the innermost level.

I found that I had to find peace within myself. I had to dig around and talk to that person that no one but me has ever met. That person that I conceal from even myself, at times. That person to whom I push all of my pain and frustration, that person who carries the heavy burdens and the hardships, the person who gives and sacrifices everything she has for the well being of everyone else and who never ever asks for anything in return. This is where I started.

When I got there, she was a wreck! Imagine walking into a room where nothing is in it's rightful place, where things have been broken or damaged from being stepped on and/or thrown around. There are so many bags in this room, it's difficult to even get through the door. It's hard to breathe, there is no air...walk too far in and you too will suffocate. No air and lots of tears makes the room warm and humid. Unbearable. This was my room. This is where I lived...better yet, this is where I almost died.

The humiliation of the room's condition prevented the invitation of guests. So no one ever knew what was behind that closed, locked, dreadful door. On the other side of the same wall, everything was pristine, immaculate, beautiful. This is what I showed the rest of the world. I could have sold the house on this part alone.

But eventually the mess of the room began to overflow into the rest of the house. The smell of my dying body permeated the air; the frame of the house began to swell because of the humidity. It even began to show on the outside. I let the grass on the lawn become overgrown. I stopped painting the shutters. And after the season of storms, it was really looking tattered.

My house was not in good condition. It affected everything. An infestation of mold, growing like cancer, was taking over my house. Pretty soon, everything in my life became part of my jungle. It was too difficult to deal with. I had no idea where to go and who to call. I was lost in my own house. Lost in my own person. I had no way out.

I'd spent so much time looking strong that eventually, I was too weak to support my own weight. To everyone who never rode down my block, I was a success. I have always been an excellent student, liked by most people, and full of energy. But everything was beginning to fade.
Finally, it happened. I ran out of tears. I decided, with some motivation from a cute little seven-year old girl, that I was going to get my life together. I went to school, focused on my classes but also on myself. I began to reflect on the many things that had caused me to fear life. I thought about reasons and explanations for the many failed relationships, the feigned happiness. I decided right then that I wanted real happiness. And I set out on this mission. I called it the PEACE CORE (I went into high intensity danger zones in search of peace.)

I started to deal with things I hadn't dealt with before. I began to search for alternative ways to view the events that had plagued my life. And most importantly, I began some serious spring spiritual cleaning. I just threw out things that didn't matter. And to be honest, I'd been harboring many inconsequential things. Getting rid of those things made it possible for me to get more indepth with the things that do matter the most.

It has been 15 months since this transformation began. I can honestly say, that while that room isn't quite as clean as I want it to be, it's well on its way. And, my grass is cut, the shutters are repaired...although there are somethings that can be done still....but, I am working on each thing one day at a time.

Thanks to this experience in Korea and to the unexpected miracles I have met, the last three months have been fantastic! I honestly believe that God puts people in your path, makes you trip over them even, so that they can help you up. I grabbed a helping hand and it has been amazing. I have smiled everyday, learned to love me inspite of my imperfections, and am realizing that I do have something to offer the world.

I have been able to voice my aspirations in ways I never thought possible. I am now working toward a goal, I have a mission...and, although it sounds a bit cliche, I have a dream. And with God's help, my own determination, and the support of people in my life, I will realize it! I promise.

Doriannicole in Korea 8

Greetings to My Peeps Back in da Hood(s)!!

Ok...I am sorry. It has just been a while since I have had the opportunity to be ethnic!! Ok... I’m done now...

Anyway, I am just emailing with my new updates and happenings from the other side of the world!! I guess I’ll start with the most important information first!

I competed in a belly dance exhibition/competition sponsored by UNICEF on Sunday. There were 38 pairs competing for the top 5 slots. They were from all over Korea. I am proud to say, that I danced alone, half naked, on a stage in front of more than 1,000 people (mainly business men in black suits) for 3 minutes and 40 seconds. Our routine (my partner and me) consisted of a 3 min solo for her, 2.5 min duet, and my piece at the end. I am waiting for pictures as no one was permitted cameras, except members of the press and random hired photographers. I have some backstage pictures taken just before makeup that I have attached. (ignore the love handles... I’m working on them!) In the end, we came in 5th place! Which for me was a great achievement!!! I’d expected to be like 37, 38... so this was fabulous! (I am not going to mention how nervous I was before and during and how I bottled everything up and saved it for the massive vomiting session immediately following my performance! Not a pretty sight... maybe next time I won’t be so crazy...)
Over the weekend, winter showed up. I had previously thought that winter had already come...but nope! It proved to me yesterday that this may be the coldest winter I’ve ever lived through! Yesterday brought with it frozen rain, and then flurries... and wind...like Chicago wind....it was a cold I’d not seen in a long time. And this is just the beginning. It snowed a little last night, and today’s sunny high of 36 and tonight’s expected low of 21 is not exactly comforting. So, I am asking for anything you have to keep me warm... It doesn’t matter that I’ve made it down to a US 10/12 in clothing size; I’m still too big to shop here!!! I did find a coat though. I got it today!! I was nice and warm (almost) on the walk home from work....now I need some good gloves and some winter boots... I am looking online.
I am still loving my job. My students are great! Still funny, still witty, and still making me smile on a daily basis. I have a great schedule and am hoping for the same or similar schedule next term. We only have three more weeks until the end of the term! I can’t believe how quickly time is passing. I keep myself so busy that I don’t keep up with the calendar!! I feel like I wake up and say: Oh my, it’s already November! And I think, didn’t I just say this last week about October?
I got a webcam so you all can see me!! If you use skype to call me, we can do a video call and you can see me. It also works with msn and aol...I’m pumped up about it...so go back to the old email I sent and download skype!!
There was a strike in my building so no one cleaned for 3.5 weeks...trash was piling up everywhere... so you know I had to be ignorant and make a big complaint and demand that it be cleaned up....they cleaned our floor and the front of the building!! I was shocked!!! Nicole has some authoritaaayy!!! My Korean is getting better each day, I understand about 70% of what I hear the first time (an increase of about 70% since I got here!) and I can communicate pretty clearly and effectively (although I use very formal speech and my electronic translator, at times).

I have no more news, I am so busy these days that I forget what I wanted to tell you guys before I get a chance to write!!

I need some tastykake butterscotch krimpets and some PAM non stick spray (original or olive oil)!!! Send me letters or something, the only things I ever get in the mail are bills in Korean! (Although I got a nice birthday card and a mommy sent care package...by the way mom, I am out of vanilla oreos!) I miss you all a lot, sort of.

Love Always,

Doriannicole

Random...But I like stuff like this!! From an email...

From a strictly Mathematical Viewpoint:

What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonderabout those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have allbeen in situations where someone wants you to give over 100%. How aboutachieving 101%? What equals 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 1 9 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
AND, look how far the love of God will take you
L- O- V- E-O-F-G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will getyou there, it's the Love of God that will put you over the top!