Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Finding Balance and Putting Yourself First

We all struggle to find the time to do certain tasks and balancing is something that seems to be elusive. Let me share something with you that may be helpful. There were two sentences that have dramatically changed my life. The first was in a book, titled Life After Trauma, by Rosenbloom and Williams (1999). As a relatively recent survivor of a life-threatening attack, I sought out a book that would help me to put my life back in order. I determined that I sought to be better than I was before the incident. The first life-changing sentence identified the first step in that very long journey:
"Do unto yourself as you would do unto others" (p.91).

In other words, put yourself first. Make yourself and your goals a priority. Do those things that you often find yourself advising others to do. Take your own advice. Take the time out each day to think about those goals that are most important. I made a list of goals, things that I wanted to do for myself. One of which was to develop a plan to get to know myself. I want to be my own best friend: laughing at myself, loving myself, knowing intimately how my mind, body, and soul work together. Another goal was to learn to make time to put myself first, to spend time making me a better person - a better wife, daughter, educator, employee, leader, scholar, etc. Remember not to confuse goals with tasks. The latter consists of only those things that you feel have to be accomplished, while goals would capture the accomplishments and successes that make you feel good at the end of the day.
The second sentence that changed my life falls right in after that and can be attributed to Stephen R. Covey (2003):

"The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities" (p.77)

I'd always thought I was doing this, until I came across that sentence. So, I reorganized my planning. I wrote a list of true priorities by asking and answering the some of the questions that are often overlooked in this era of hustle and bustle. I asked myself: What is truly important to me? How would I like to live my life, and What would make my heart happy? When I answered these questions, I realized that my relationships with myself, my family, and my friends; my spiritual journey; my continual self-improvement via unmitigated self-awareness; the financial welfare of my family; and my professional growth and development.

With these questions answered, I printed a blank calendar for the week. And, for the first week, I wrote down everything I did. Everything. Then, on Saturday morning, before my husband or family could distract me, I sat down and crossed off everything on the list that didn't fit in the above description. Amazingly, so much of my time was being spent on other people's priorities!!!! I was shocked at how much attention I'd given everyone else, in unbelievable contrast to the lack thereof for myself. The next step was to change it. So, I created a schedule that began with my priorities filled in. Any blank time could be consumed by those 'non-importants;' but I scheduled everything as if it were an appointment. I scheduled time with my husband, lunch (I had not taken a lunch at work in over a year), gym time, personal meditation, church/fellowship time, and of course, my job and my school work. What I found was that, when I do more for me, I am able to do more for others. If we are to praise the concept of servant leadership, then we should find ways to apply it and recognize that you cannot do for others what you cannot do for yourself. What I once thought as selfish has turned into the only means by which selflessness can continue to exist.

I cannot tell you how much this activity has done to enhance my work/life/school/family/volunteer service/spiritual journey balance. I strongly encourage any and everyone to take that time to provide yourself with the care that you need.






Resources:

Covey, Stephen R. (2004). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons In Personal Change. Free Press: New York.
Covey, Stephen R. (2003). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Personal Workbook. Free Press: New York
Rosenbloom, D. and Williams, M. (1999). Life After Trauma: A Workbook For Healing.The Gulford Press: New York

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Organizational and Personal Change

There are many people who are going about their lives always speaking of the changes they want to make, but not having the discipline or understanding of how to make those changes. I am no exception. As I read new texts, I build the capacity for change. This will allow me to engage those newly acquired concepts in a meaningful and effective manner.

Michael Fullan (2008) talks about the six secrets of change. His book focuses on change in organizations, but just think about how that could also be applied to us individually. He identifies the secrets as stated below:


 
  1. Love your Employees 
  2. Connect Peers with Purpose 
  3. Capacity Building Prevails 
  4. Learning is the Work
  5. Transparency Rules 
  6. Systems Learn

 
The first secret speaks of loving your employees enough to make work something they can enjoy. Allow them the freedom to grow and watch the effectiveness and commitment increase.
 
The second secret is about connecting and building effective relationships. Networking, sharing ideas, and getting to know the people you work with/for can make work more satisfying. The happier the employee, the better the level of work.

 
The third secret "concerns competencies, resources, and motivation. Individuals and groups are high in capacity if they possess and continue to develop knowledge and skills, if they attract and use resources (time, ideas, expertise, money) wisely, and if they are committed to putting in the energy to get important things done collectively and continuously (ever learning)" (p. 57).
 
The fourth secret tells us that we should be always striving for balance between consistency and improvement. We have to be consistent in our methods, consistent in our interactions, our expectations and our mission. However, we also need to be open to vias of improvement, better efficiency, increased effectiveness, and precision and accuracy.
 
The fifth secret is to be open about your agenda. Let it be know what you intend to do and how you intend to do it. Allow others in to provide accountability and reinforcement. This doesn't mean that everyone must know every detail. Instead it means giving people more than just the end. Show progress, show employees how their efforts are making a difference NOW and not just at the end.
 

 
Finally, the last secret involves 'lac(ing) the culture with a theory that will travel over time, in which leadership manifests itself at all levels of the organization" (p.109). This also requires humility, recognizing though, that while you can increase the odds of success, you cannot guarantee it. Lofty goals serve no useful purpose; being realistic about the goals we set and taking the path that is most likely to get us there will ultimately result in more success.
 
Change within an organization requires change on an individual level. The change may come in the form of new systems, new technology, more globalized economies, etc., but what must stay consistent, is the commitment to personal and organizational excellence. This can only be achieved by having a personal identity, knowing who you are and what you represent, setting realistic and attainable goals, and reshaping your culture to allow effective change to occur.

 

 

 
Reference:
 
Fullan, Michael (2008). The Six Secrets of Change: What the Best Leaders Do to Help Their Organizations Survive and Thrive. Jossey-Bass: San Francisco.