While living in Korea, I fell in love.
I fell in love first with God. For the first time in my life, I was in forced solitude. Unable to speak Korean and communicate with others, I was blessed with the opportunity to explore the world around me and, more importantly, the world within me. I found a great church home and immediately felt my spirit blossoming like a spring flower. As our relationship develops deeper, more completely, God reveals to me parts of His divine plan, helping me to understand my place and purpose in life. Each day that I live strengthens the love I have for Him and His plan.
I fell in love with myself. I cannot recall a time when I appreciated myself. While I am still growing into the person I want to be, I realize that I am just who God needs me to be right now. My self perception has improved immensely. Aside from the physical changes, I have changed my attitude. I have learned that God has a plan and a purpose for me, and that every challenge, every perceived failure, every hardship, every loss has been to show me a victory, success, a blessing, and a gain. My new vision, that sees the beauty in the obstacles of life, has brought to me a new joy, comparable to no other.
My new found love for me helped me to fall in love with someone else. I met a man with whom I'd planned to spend the rest of my life. I thought of him as everything I'd ever want in a man. And, while we ultimately didn't work out, I learned a lot from him. I learned that there are men who know how to treat a woman. There are those who respect and value women, those who will be good role models for future generations. I also learned that there was even more that I required of him, because there is more that God requires of me. So, inspite the difficulty of the break up, the tears, and broken hearts, I succeeded. I learned valuable lessons and continued to develop my own expectations for the man who God sends me later.
Most importantly, I fell in love with life. I fell in love with MY life. In fact, every day, I fall in love with life all over again. I have even begun to love my past. I am understanding how my past has helped me to become my present, and how my present will help to tailor my future. I am recognizing the beauty in pain, the hope in suffering, the knowledge of defeat, and the excitement in the unknown. I appreciate the simple days, the sweetness of sincerity, the rush of love and adventure, the enlightenment of learning, the blessing of life itself. I see my life as a masterpiece of God. There are dark lines, shadows, light, brilliance, color, beauty. Without any element of the painting, the work would cease to exist as it is. I am realizing daily the need for the struggle, the need for pain, the need for heartache. For without it, how can we appreciate their opposites? How can we love others and appreciate their pasts, their lives, if we can't our own?
