Sometimes when you least expect it, God sends you a care package. The contents of the care package are not always completely understood until you need them. How they will work for you in your life may sometimes remain unknown or appear as negative things. It takes a deep trust and unrelenting faith to be able to accept whatever comes in the care package.
All my life, I have been struggling to define and redefine myself on my own terms. I spent most of my life catering to the needs of other people, always thinking of them before myself. And many times, after spending all I had on them, I left very little or nothing at all for myself. Other times, I fell prey to people whose only interests were themselves and their physical needs and desires. I allowed them to play on my vulnerability, naivety, and later, my hopelessness and frustration.
So, for the last seven and a half years, I have worked diligently to become a better person, to think of others while not sacrificing myself, to reconcile the painful memories of my past, and to take productive measures to improve my future. More importantly, I have developed a much more profound and sincere understanding of my spirituality. I have begun to really assess my beliefs and to develop my spirituality.
I have always known and believed in God, but for several years of my life, I ignored Him. I turned my back to Him and refused to acknowledge His presence in my life or in the world around me. And while I had refused to accept Him, to acknowledge Him, to worship Him, to praise Him, as soon as I was in inescapable trouble, He was the first to be called. And, you know what? He came.
As I have grown, God has placed wonderful people in my path that continue to encourage personal growth. They grow with me, they encourage me, they help me, I help them, we learn together; and when this can no longer happen, our paths separate. They are like ‘angels on an internship’—in and out of your life after just a little while. Each one changing you somehow, making you better somehow, preparing you for what’s to come, for what lies ahead.
And now, as I sit here and reflect on all of the beautiful footprints that have been made next to mine, when I think of all of the positive changes that have come out of my relationships with all of the angel interns, I am amazed. I realize that I am very blessed.
There are times when the contents of these care packages don't seem so much like a blessing. There are times when the pain is more than you think you can bear. But, in the end, the true miracles and blessings, and deeper understanding of God's strength and mercy override the temporary discomfort. Just knowing that pain is temporary, that God can take you out of any situation, and that there are lessons in every situation help me to endure the situations. I have learned to thank God for the things I cannot see directly... for my storms, my doubts...not because I like hard times, but because without them, I wouldn't be able to appreciate the better times, nor would I know His power.
