Groupies....

I just finished reading this month's Essence magazine. I was intrigued by an article posted by Will Demps of the NY Giants. I was impressed by his willingness to expose a lifestyle in which many high profile individuals partake on a regular basis.

I've dated 'high-profile' men and found that women can be very trifling. I've sat at dinner while a woman came and asked my date to autograph her breast, right in front of me! I've seen how the women sneak up to the hotel rooms, how they find these men no matter where they go. They are sometimes so physically beautiful and damn near naked, and the men fall into the temptations of their flesh. Leaving us, the women at home, feeling inadequate and hurt.

Let me say, that I respect Will Demps so much more because he admitted to succumbing to his environmental pressures. But, more than that, he woke up from this lifestyle, at an early enough age, and decided that he'd rather find a serious relationship, instead of an empty set of women.

If I could write him a letter in response to his article, it would be one of encouragement; this is what I'd write:

Greetings Mr. Demps;

I know that you have received a million and four emails already in response to your article in Essence; please allow me to be one million and five. I am no groupie; I am not attempting to be or do anything except encourage you. (My favorite team is the Colts, anyway :) ) So, please, just hear me out.

You are a wonderfully handsome man; well spoken, intelligent, focused and driven. In this world, all of these attributes will get you far, but only so far. Too often, we succumb to the desires we think we have and sacrifice the blessing God wants us to have. I have done it as well- maybe not in the same ways you stated, but in equally damaging ways. But, I have been blessed with obstacles that have served to reshape the person that I am and my perspective on the world around me.

Without expounding too much on who I am, let me say that I almost completely understand where you are coming from in your article. I have had similar thoughts and I, too, want to be in a good healthy relationship with someone who respects me, trusts me, and loves me- and for whom I can willingly do the same. You are on the right track to finding her; she is out there…growing and developing to be ready for you She isn’t perfect either, but she will be perfect for you. You have to be open and willing to accept her and the responsibility that God gives you to love, cherish and honor her. She is growing right now into a person who can accept you and the similar responsibilities that God will give her for you. It is important for you to be with someone who will love you for you; not for your job, status, looks, etc. All this to say, be patient. Don’t settle for less than you deserve and don’t assume that just because you’ve made mistakes in the past, that you don’t deserve the best. You do. If you are patient and faithful, there is no doubt in my mind that you will have that. We both will.

Stay focused on your game, on your personal growth and development, and most importantly, on God and what He wants you to do. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and take small risks with your heart. This is the same advice I give myself every morning. :)

If you ever just need a person to talk to, to be your friend before anything, and to secretly root for your team (while screaming for the Colts in public), you got one. No strings or expectations attached. I am just a person who likes to encourage and help build up others. I am more than blessed; so sharing is my pleasure.

Sincerely,


Nicole